


Bittersweet Memories

by pushkin666



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Episode: s02e01 In My Time of Dying, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-10
Updated: 2010-02-10
Packaged: 2017-10-07 03:56:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pushkin666/pseuds/pushkin666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John's thoughts on how important the Impala is to his boys and just what he's prepared to give up to save Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bittersweet Memories

Like a Johnny Cash song. The Impala is like his life these days. Put together one piece at a time. Things he'd borrowed or invented. Bits and pieces taken from the urban legends and the unspoken laws of the hunters. Credit card fraud, false identities, a boot full of weapons, killing monsters - this was his life now. This is what his life had become. And in amongst those pieces were the genuine memories. Times spent with Mary and Dean, sun-filled days of love and joy. When he had everything he wanted in his life. When he'd never thought of demons or supernatural creatures; never saw his wife die in front of him.

The Impala - a broken down car left in lieu of a debt. A car once loved but no longer sitting sad and forlorn on the garage forecourt. Like a kicked dog - something once bought and loved but when it became too much trouble to deal with, costing too much money, it was simply dumped like an unwanted puppy at the side of the road.

He remembered standing on the forecourt running his hands slowly over her. He could see what she'd been, what she could be again. Never realised that by saving her he would give his sons the one thing they craved and needed after their mother's death - a home, the one constant thing in their lives.

So, piece by piece, little by little, he slowly restored her, using parts cannibalised from other cars until he was able to bring her back to her former glory. Mary loved her from the moment he took her home, running out to greet him. She was still light on her feet despite her advanced pregnancy, Dean at her heels. Remembered how Dean jumped around the car asking if he could sit in the driver's seat, wanting to know all about her. She became the family car, the car that took them to the hospital the night Mary gave birth to Sam, the car that brought Sam home, and took them on trips. The car parked outside their house the night he watched their home burn with his wife and his dreams inside it.

He remembered Dean's face when he gave him the car, passing the keys over to him. He honestly thought that Dean loved the car as much as he did. It was something that connected them both to Mary and it became his boys' home. John kept her well maintained over the years, Dean always alongside him helping. Dean was an excellent mechanic, unlike his brother.

He knew that to Dean she represented independence and freedom. Oh, Dean would never leave him, but by giving him the Impala he was acknowledging that Dean was an adult, and that he trusted him. Dean quickly made her his, filling her with his own music and presence, the only part of John left was in the boot where the weapons were kept. It hurt, but he wasn't really surprised when Sam quickly moved from his seat in his father's truck to sitting alongside Dean in the Impala, always at his brother's side.

He took a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears, and looked around Bobby's yard, drinking in the sights and smells. As long as he could remember the yard had been full of decaying wrecks. The Impala now fit in perfectly. He patted her, wondering if she'd ever be the same again, whether her owner would be the same. He closed his eyes trying not to think of his eldest son lying unconscious in the hospital bed, tubes running in and out of his body, keeping him alive.

He suspected that if Dean were driving the car instead of Sam, the accident might not have been so horrific, but the damage inflicted on his eldest son by the demon wearing his skin could easily have killed Dean. If Dean survived this, then the Impala would survive. Dean would put her back together, piece by piece.

He knew, though, that the only way to save his boy was to make a deal with the demon. The gun made especially by Samuel Colt for killing demons, or the life of his son? Something he would never have considered, once. Too many years spent looking for the weapon to give it away. But he knew now that there was no contest. No matter how much he might be obsessed with killing the yellow-eyed son of a bitch he knew that he would never sacrifice Dean to this. He knew it as he listened to his son pleading with him not to kill him, as he watched Dean's bleeding body slide down the wall of the shack, knew as he threw off the demon's yoke that he would not sacrifice Dean. He suspected that the demon would require a sugaring for the deal, thought it highly likely he might not survive their encounter. But it was a price he was willing to pay.

More than anything else he was delighted to see his sons hunting together. It was something he always wanted for them. Although it broke his heart to see Sam's despair at the loss of his girlfriend, it brought his boys together again, and for that he could only be grateful. They were both stronger together than apart.

Sam would never forget Jessica and how she died. Would never stop blaming himself, wondering if he could have done something. He knew that. Even now when he closed his eyes he could still see Mary, how she looked the day he first met her; the day they married; the day she told him she was pregnant with Dean. Those were the images of her he wanted to keep in his mind, not the last one.

If he didn't live through this then so be it. Sam would be there at Dean's side again, helping to put his brother back together, piece by piece. When Sam made up his mind to do something he stuck with it all the way to the bitter end. He would not allow Dean to give up, no matter what. It would be hard and it would take time, but John knew that Sam would succeed. He trusted him in this. He patted the car once more, turned his back, and walked away.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

** __ **

I got it one piece at a time  
And it didn't cost me a dime  
You'll know it's me when I come through your town  
I'm gonna ride around in style  
I'm gonna drive everybody wild  
'Cause I'll have the only one there is around.  
Johnny Cash - One Piece at a Time


End file.
